This same issue keeps coming up for me at the moment. Deciding what I want to do when I get invited to two different social events, or I have more than one option of doing something for the night or for the weekend.
It's like this weekend, I had planned about two weeks ago to go to on a weekend away with the church group that I did my Alpha course with. It cost £85 pounds and was at the same place where I did my alpha weekend away. I left it to the last minute, well the day I was due to go, called up and was told there were no places left on the coach or at the venue for accommodation.
I really liked the people I met and were I knew would be going and I had fun last time.
The question I have been asking myself is why did I leave it to last minute.
I don't know whether I'll enjoy it
the people that are going have all known each other longer than they have known me so what if they leave me out?
It is a lot of money and I will have to put it on my credit card because this month has been a tight month and I hate having debts on my credit card
Maybe I should stay in London and spend time with my friends here, because if I don't they might forget about me and not invite me out to things in the future
I should go because I might meet someone there who I like and I want to increase my social circle as much as possible so that I maximise my chances of making new friends and finding a partner
So the thing that stopped me was fear of being left out. Well, I could avoid this by being of service to other people even if the people I knew did leave me out or want to spend more time with each other and fear that my friends here would forget about me.
The thing that made me feel the need to go was fear that if I don't go I will be missing an opportunity to meet more people.
I don't want to be driven by fear or make decisions based on fear anymore, I want to base decisions on what I decide to do with my life based on what I WANT to do. I am going to ask my higher power to remove my fear and ask him to lead me to the best peer group for me at the moment. If that means I am not in forefront of everyone mind SO WHAT.
I have got to learn not to listen to my head and feel the fear and do it anyway, as Susan Jeffers says. Creating a new and better life for myself WILL involve leaving some people behind and WILL involve missing out on somethings.
This is definitely an area for me to work on. Not being a slave to what other people suggest I do, invite me to and doing what I want to do.
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2 comments:
"The thing that made me feel the need to go was fear that if I don't go I will be missing an opportunity to meet more people."
who'se to say you would not have met more people by going?
And a question i ask myself often is... am i growing and maintaining the friendships I already have?
Staying around in one place long enough and to keep going back for people to get friendly and become friends and for me to do the same... takes effort and courage.
Good post!
i call your (fear) stuff 'doubt'.
you have to learn how to act WITH doubt, instead of wanting the doubt to vanish.
feelings are not facts. if you are comfortable being uncomfortable, you will do it even though you are full of fear and unresolved questions. get used to uncertainty!
sounds like progress!
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