I genuinely thought before I arrived in AA that everyone would be thin. So obsessed was I with my weight and being slightly body dismorphic (I look back at photos and I was soooooo thin) that I was convined at that point that weight issues and unrequited love were my only issues (how wrong I was).
Anyway, the point is I am fatter now than I was in my drinking days.
Maybe this is because my body is going through some sort of relaxations through the process of healing. I held so much tension in my body that I was not even aware of. The tension over the last few months has been rising up through my body and dissipates in my chest and sometimes reaches up to my throat and feels like it is going to erupt out of my mouth. I also get really powerful waves of pure anger rising up through my body, they are like pure sheets of white engery...sounds strange but that is what they feel like. It feels like these are repressed emotions that are coming up for air.
The point is that I am fatter than I want to be and blow me down it is not the stella that is causint it as I don't drink stella anymore or any alcohol for that matter. Maybe is the buffalo chickent and fries.
I don't operate effectively when I am sluggish and putting crap food into my body; I am not being as useful to others as I could potentially be if I were operating as a finley tuned machine so this is my focus from now on.
It might help me attract a few more members of the opposite sex too....
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AA is full of crazy thin people with DISASTROUS relationships. so trust me its not the 'thinness' that attracts the cool people. whatever. you are right about less neurotic equals a tendency to put on weight though. the more comfortable you are, the easier it is to ? flop a bit. but yes. raw carrots, rice, gym. thats the only way really! ah well.
Hey you are still a BABY !!! really. 2-3yrs? Jeez.. I was VERY !!! different to what I am now when I was 2-3yrs..
Just takes a bit of time to grow up, thats all..
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