I am customarily negative about most things in my life. I must have developed this way of thinking many years ago as it is deeply engrained and I struggle to change it. So, I was thinking about why I developed it and the answer I think is this: when I was younger I used to be so hopeful that
one day my mum really would give up smoking like she said she would, or my dad wouln't go on anthother bender or my dad really would suddennly get that job he always talked about getting.
Needless to say none of these things ever happened, so I must have decided that being postive and hopeful was wrong as it only led to disappointment.
Now this negativity is less useful, it doesn't really even work when I try to use it so that I don't become disappointed when the date I go on is rubbish or I dont get praised at work or I dont get that new job I wanted. I steill feel disappointed and rejected and I have noticed that most other people are so much more positive than I am and I feel so drained feeling so angry and grumpy and negative.
I am trying to cultivate more open mindedness in my life at the moment, but as usualy it's simple but not easy.
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I am not convinced you know what you want or how you would like your life to be, if not some, any areas. And I get the feeling you are scared to really step out of that uncomfortable compfort zone. Misery really is Optional. Aim for a happy heart. A heart of pure shiny Gold. TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE.
If you could start over, imagine having no-one judging or pointing the finger saying nah you cant do that, or nah it wont pay, or really you do that!? And imagine having people saying all that and you doing it anyway without fear of what people think of you, NO pride and fear getting in the way. Because you are strong inside and know what you want and dont want regardles of "external pressure"
Act as if THERE ARE NO LIMITS & make a list of exactly how you life is now, ALL PROBLEM/DIFFICULT AREAS, and then next to each... another, showing how YOU would like to be in ALL AREAS of your life ? thats Internal and External ? Not other people... YOU...
OPEN YOUR MIND AND BE BRAVE, reach for the skies and GO FOR GOLD ask for the BEST, even if you THINK its impossible, put it down anyway, (ask yourself, who are you putting limits on HP/God's Power) how do you know you wont get it?
IF YOU REALLY ARE TRYING TO BE OPENMINDED, test your loving God to the limits, He really has all Power, you really have only just scratched the surface on Gods Power. Which is AWESOME, cos it means you have so much more to come!!
If you really want it, Even if you dont THINK it, Do it anyway... Because you ARE worth it dude!!
God (as you understand it) Loves ya... its true. Turn Towards YOUR loving and caring God and show him what you want.... WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT. Try it :) God is really lovely when you get to know Him.
Ok really am going down the gym now!!
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