Thoughts of an insomniac

I am really stressed at the moment. My job is stressful (or is this just because of my approach/working method. I have to move house and don't yet know where I am going to. I have just hit a milestone age and and wondering what the hell I am doing with my life/am I in the right job/why am I still single/why are all my colleagues my age married with kids big houses and I am still living in a shared house with people I don't know/when I earn as much as they do?/how I have I got to this age and not have friends to live with/do I have as many friends as other people?/why is my friend's parents meeting her finances parents this weekend/why do I not have both my parents/will my other parent still be alive when I meet someone/how is it that so many people fall into relationships/why are there so many couples on the tube/why do they all look so happy if so many people cheat/is there any point having a relationship?/the man will only cheat with a younger woman/why I have I arranged to go away for the Easter and not stay with my one remaining parent who might die and then I will regret not seeing him this weekend/i don't know how I have got to this age and be single/it's so sad that baby was born with Downs syndrome/that girl at work was in her head to day could tell she was not really there at lunch/reminded me of me when I was drinking/am I really an alcoholic or do I just go to AA because I need a fellowship/I wish I could have a beer in the sunshine/am I headed for relapse because I am not going to any lengths/why did I not make the most of the meeting this evening/why did I not stay for coffee when the one thing I needed was close contact with another human being/my colleague put me down at lunch/why did I not say something to him?/I wish I could respond more quickly/why are so many girls in the meeting better dressed than me when I earn more than them?/what have I got to show for working in a professional job-nothing. Rented accommodation, a few shabby items of clothes and that is it/why did I allow myself to get so tired that I have lost my mobile/why can't I sleep?/where am I going to live/why do so many people hate me/why can't I be as thin as I used to be/why cant I motivate myself to go to the bloody gym/why could I not look that cute guy in the eye at the meeting/i am hoping the other cute one I asked to do a chair the other week came back because of me/but it is bound to be because of my friend in aa who guys seem to fancy more than me/why do I always end up befriending girls who are more successful with men than me?/do men fancy me really/is this an attention seeking thing/why don't they come onto me then?